This was a low point. He fell into a deepening spiral, and Jane and the children followed him down. Partly they couldn’t help it, partly they just didn’t want to lose him. As he concerned himself over what his children thought of him, their opinion changed of him; no longer a positive, go-getting ambitious strong man, now weak, quiet, self-pitying. And he knew this and he felt more and more helpless. Their opinion of him and his reaction to the opinion dragged each other down, down. And Jane saw everything falling apart around her. She had been the one badly affected, so angry that everyone else had been able to carry on as normal, now she wished they would again. She knew that when some of her help was needed it brought her back to life, but this was too much, too too much. And so it was, they all fell freely into an abyss of despair, one leading the other, one overtaking and pulling, all gathering speed with just one end in sight. It wasn’t until Jack first coughed up some blood that he began looking for a ledge to pull them back up with. We’re going rafting, he said.
Day 24
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