As this issue weighed more and more heavily on his mind, he toyed with possible solutions. He wanted to take the situation in hand, speak directly to the children about their memories, and ensure that they were fully aware of all his good qualities. He wanted them to know that he loved them, more than anything, but he knew how important it was for them to grow up with an image of their father that they could be proud of. Someone strong, inspiring, leading. He wanted a long talk with them to give them examples of all these qualities, or perhaps to write them down, but aside from the fact that to do so would clearly not be an admirable quality in itself, he was finding it difficult to think of any examples. Have I really got so little to be proud of, he asked Jane. She told him he had everything to be proud of, two wonderful children who loved him. But the thought of going to his death bed with two wonderful children loving him despite the kind of person he was, instead of because of it nearly made him collapse on the floor in despair.
Day 23
Advertisement
